I'll let you keep your biscuits as compensation for what you are about to encounter: Imagine (in my defence I am defenceless. I am weak and impatient and I didn't even consider reading through it to edit or amend or lob it into the fireplace before anybody could bare witness to it. I was simply itchin' to just launch it into the virtual Amazonian void. Plus I was like 19 and we all know 19 year olds function off nothing but vodka and poor hygiene, so). I wish you luck.

Okay screw it, I'm keeping those biscuits!

I imagine in a parallel universe I might be a caricaturist or a botanist or somewhere asleep on the moon — but here, I am a writer.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store