I guess it's true what They say (assuming "they" are the entire cast of the episode of Rick and Morty in which every character is a parasite intent on infiltrating past memories and spawning there indefinitely): you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villian. I think I saw Saruman getting tips at a bar from a recently of age Groot, sipping whiskey together.
I admire your will. But that might be largely a result of that fact I admire (in the obsessive-adore-so-much-it's-almost-pornographic) breakfast. Any who find a way to ruin it deserve nothing from life. Not even a free U2 album uploaded to their iPhone without consent nor awareness. Honestly, I think most brutal villain a Hero could encounter is not Moriarty. Nor the Goblin King. Nor even Janice from Friends. But Reality itself. Reality would even beat Thanos in a thumb war.
P.S I think everything you just sent was pure poetry. Can I get that inscribed on a fridge magnet for Christmas? I think it will look beautiful beside my "what if Peter Parker bit the spider?" piece.
But anyway. I think Google Maps is the beta version of Sims anyway. Which explains why I am immortalised on there somewhere, ankle twisting beneath me as I plummet into a ditch, simply waiting for my autonomy to be switched back on and I can FINALLY go see what happens during a "woohoo."